You can't flourish ALL the time

Everyday I pass a row of trees outside my building. These trees have been bare since I moved in. How do you tell a bare tree from a dead one? They kinda look the same. Recently I was looking up and noticed a leaf blowing in the wind. At first I thought it was a remnant - a lone and frail survivor. Then I looked closer and noticed it was green! It’s ALIVE it’s ALIVE!!! The tree was beginning to bloom. 

Isn’t so cool that something which seemed barren, dead, hopeless for so many months - meanwhile had all this magic brewing within? There’s no way you could see it from the outside. 

Our work, our relationships, our creativity, our lives - everything really, has its season, too. Sometimes you can’t tell but there’s a lot of work happening below the surface - beyond your awareness.

But unlike the weather, our ideas, our work, our relationships, our lives aren’t as predictable in their seasonality. So what do you do if you’re experiencing a hard winter:

1. Know that winter doesn’t last forever.
2. Remember that winter has a purpose - it’s a resting time preparing for blossoming.
3. Befriend your winter days - savor them while they last, find at least three things a day you can appreciate.

While we're all familiar with a metaphor of seasons, most recently science is also investigating the rythms of our lives in a emerging field called Chronobiology. "Chronobiology is the biology of time, or the study of internal biological clocks. Biological clocks are found at all levels in living organisms. They range from oscillations found in nerve cells on the millisecond scale to oscillations in minutes, hours, days, and years in a variety of organisms and tissues."   

Here’s to all of YOU - at ALL times. 

Much love, 

Stella

My optimism secret - tell the world to F itself!

This month’s love letter (not receiving my love letters?) is a story about how I went from pissed off to praise-the-lord using some skills I learned from positive psychology. Here goes...

It was very quickly turning into “one of those days.” 

First, an important breakfast cancelled. Next, a quick call to the bank turned into an hour long frustrating dilemma. 

I was running late, un-showered, and unprepared for my next meeting. Uggggh! Then my cabbie gives me major attitude. After hustling to physically show up at a local bank branch, the teller tells me that the only person who could help actually quit.

If I was a cartoon you’d see steam shooting out of my ears.  

With no i Scream Truck available, I used some optimism tricks to self talk my way out of a melt-down:

I silently declared to the invisible forces messing up my day: “Fuck you! I’m going to have an awesome day regardless of what goes down. Bring it.”  

The scientific translation:

My crude real-life-in-the-moment declaration above is actually a practice of Learned Optimism. It’s choosing to see events as:

1. Not personal - There’s nothing wrong with me (at least that’s causing this situation).
2. Not permanent - This is not my whole life, it’s one morning.
3. Not pervasive - Yes, this morning sucked but it doesn’t mean my whole day, career, or life sucks. 

Studies found that positivity helps you live longer (you're two times more likely to be alive than your negative counterparts after the age of 65) and perform better at work (you’re more likely to be promoted within a year, receive positive reviews, and make higher sales).

I think the stakes are pretty high...so read about the five quick steps you can take to untwist a nasty situation into a positive one...

As for my happy/positive ending:

By keeping my cool instead of attacking innocent bank clerks, I stayed open to speaking with the Assistant Manager, Jasmine.  That's us in the pic!

Jasmine was curious about WOOPAAH and pretty soon we found ourselves engaged in a meaningful conversation about happiness, struggle, and her experience of post partum. In about 20 minutes I not only resolved my issue, I met a new friend, potentially a new client, and experienced love 2.0 - a warm and authentic exchange that nurtured my being and brought me alive that day. 

If I was a cartoon - the clouds would part, the sun would shine, and hallelujah would sound. 

To read how to practice Learned Optimism without saying “fuck you” check out the scientific-five-step approach!

With much love,

Stella

Lessons From Ugly Pants

Lessons From Releasing Ugly Pants from Stella Grizont on Vimeo.

At WOOPAAH we actually break stuff to ceremonialize (not a word, but I like it) the release of nasty beliefs, behaviors, patterns that no longer serve you. I had a real deal experience of this earlier this week as I was shifting from my winter to summer clothes (oh, small nyc closets). So I made this quick spontaneous video inspired by the ugly pants I chose to throw away. Granted, beauty is in the eye of the beholder - but I didn't like them. This small moment reveals how when we get too comfortable with tolerating something that doesn't work we end up settling for something that is less-than. If it's not serving you and causing you angst - time to say ciao. This means your clothes, your relationships, your files, your beliefs. Ta ta tie dye!

Best,

Stella